Say something about gay babies.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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