I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
