my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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