Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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