I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
