You can't motorboat a personality
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
