I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
