I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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