Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
