my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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