I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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