just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How does it feel to date your dad?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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