I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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