so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
