We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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