My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
vagina is talking i cant
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
