Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
