i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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