I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
