That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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