this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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