so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
