I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
