hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry about my life...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize