id be glad to
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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