My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
