no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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