He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
