I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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