I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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