so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
