I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
