didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
