It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
