Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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