Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
