you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just found a bag of teeth...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
