Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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