Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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