my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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