she woke up with a sticky ear
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We have started to decorate penises.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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