just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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