my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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