my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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