The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
