I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
