so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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