and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
