Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
