There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
