if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
