I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
