oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I party with great urgency now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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