Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
