I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
