smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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