I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
