Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
