I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize