Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so fucking centered right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
