i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
