Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
