they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize